Thursday, September 17, 2009

Love Is Mine To Give

Lately I’ve found myself loving people but only the people I want to love. I WANT to love EVERYONE but find myself caught in a mindset thinking some people are more deserving of my love than others. I’m choosing to let the love in my life be a commodity. Somebody loves me so I love them back—a “deserving” exchange correct? Kinda… but not really. (Don’t you love answers like that).
Since when did we as a society let LOVE become something we could hoard? We take it so freely and disperse it sparingly! Are we scared it’s going to run out? As far I can tell there’s a never ending supply of love being LAVISHED down upon us. If we would only look to the cross (the ultimate display of love I might add) instead of at ourselves, our perspective on love might change for the better.
Jesus doesn’t say “love those who love you back”. On more than one occasion I’ve wished those words were written. Love is not mine to keep. Love was gruesomely nailed to a piece of wood so I could get past the sinner that I am. So I could receive the undeserving gift of grace and love given to all humankind. Who am I to hold onto something so tight, point my little finger and say “you weren’t nice to me today…you don’t deserve ‘my’ love” when I didn’t deserve love to begin with!
Love always hopes.
Love always trusts.
Love always protects.
Love always perseveres.
Love does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices when the truth wins out.

Love keeps no record of wrong. (that’s a toughy isn’t it)
Love is not easily angered. (I find myself fighting this battle everyday)
Love is not self-seeking. (when I start to look at “me” and what “I” deserve that’s when I turn love in the commodity it was never meant to be)
Love is not rude.
Love is not proud.
Love does not boast.
Love does not get jealous.

Love IS kind.
Love IS patient.
Love NEVER fails.
I know I fail. But I continue to look to the cross for strength. It is there, it is when I am on my knees that my cup overflows and I find the strength to love those I tend to withhold love from.