Saturday, March 20, 2010

2nd Moon Coffee Cafe

I’m sitting in downtown Minneapolis at the coolest little coffee shop. There’s funky art on the walls, old overused couches in the corner and a random string of over-sized Christmas lights strung from one end of the shop to the other. It’s a breath of fresh air from the fast paced, overly stereotypical Starbucks I have become accustom too. This is personally… and I LOVE IT!
Today has been a day of RECALL (believe it or not I’m “working” right now). I am soaking in every bit of today. I got told to leave my schedule at home and go rediscover me. What is my heart saying? What are those voices that need to be drowned out? What is God trying to say to me that I’ve been too busy to listen too?
I’ve been wanting to hide recently. I’ve been wanting to disappear and make all the things I can’t control go away. If only I could vanish into thin air and come back another day…maybe. I’ve been trying so hard to control certain areas of my life and quite frankly, it’s tiring me out. A few days ago one of my friends called and told me I need to stop telling God what to do. Easier said than done. I’m slowly peeling back my fingers from the death-grip I’ve managed to wrap around my life. I know it’s going to hurt when I finally let go and I’m not sure if I’m ready to face that hurt yet. Finger by finger I will let go. I am letting go. All in all , I know I have desires in my heart this world cannot satisfy. I can’t run away. I can’t disappear. But I can continue to put my trust in one who is GREATER than the emotional roller coaster I put myself on. If I continue to look UP my vision will come into focus and my death grip will be loosed. I will raise my hands and surrender to King of Kings.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


The last couples weeks I've been going through an assortment of picutres I"ve taken over the years. I busted out some photos from Alaska, New Zealand, the road trip out to Iowa. Its been fun recalling all the stories that come with these small snapshots in my life:) It has made me hungry for another good adventure. I feel like I'm on the brink of going crazy if a good adventures doesn't come out the wood work sometime soon! I've found myself pulling... maybe yanking would be a better word... on the reigns these last couple weeks from throwing all responsibility and (little) finances aside to appease my restless moments of desperation for ADVENTURE.
Maybe the restlessness has something to do with my one year anniversary of being in Iowa coming up... strange to think I it's almost a year. I don't feel like it's been that long. I still feel like a newbie--maybe part of that has to do with my inability to sense direction out here. It was bad to start with but I feel like it's slightly worse not having reference points like mountains, hills, and mass bodies of water to guide me. I have the exciting experiences of getting lost in cornfields and wondering how long its going to take before some fed-up farmer comes out of his house with a shotgun locked and loaded ready to chase me off his property!

In the meantime, I will continue to be the responsible one. I will pour everything I have into what I have around me and not miss the moments I am in. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence right? I going to choose to look at my own
green grass and stop to smell the flowers along the way!