Today has been a day of RECALL (believe it or not I’m “working” right now). I am soaking in every bit of today. I got told to leave my schedule at home and go rediscover me. What is my heart saying? What are those voices that need to be drowned out? What is God trying to say to me that I’ve been too busy to listen too?
I’ve been wanting to hide recently. I’ve been wanting to disappear and make all the things I can’t control go away. If only I could vanish into thin air and come back another day…maybe. I’ve been trying so hard to control certain areas of my life and quite frankly, it’s tiring me out. A few days ago one of my friends called and told me I need to stop telling God what to do. Easier said than done. I’m slowly peeling back my fingers from the death-grip I’ve managed to wrap around my life. I know it’s going to hurt when I finally let go and I’m not sure if I’m ready to face that hurt yet. Finger by finger I will let go. I am letting go. All in all , I know I have desires in my heart this world cannot satisfy. I can’t run away. I can’t disappear. But I can continue to put my trust in one who is GREATER than the emotional roller coaster I put myself on. If I continue to look UP my vision will come into focus and my death grip will be loosed. I will raise my hands and surrender to King of Kings.