Friday, August 24, 2012


On a bad day, have you ever had somebody tell you to smile...because if you start smiling (even when you don't feel like it) eventually the smile will "take over" and you'll actually feel happy.  A number of years ago I was convicted about the way I talked.  I haven't always been the most confident person (I still struggle with confidence).  I used to speak a lot of negative things about myself and didn't even realize it. My pastor pointed it out to me one day and I've worked hard to catch myself from following that old pattern.

When you say negative things about yourself, eventually you start to believe them--even if they only start as a joke or a passing comment.  It's one thing to "think" something and stop yourself before you start dwell on that thought.  Once the words come out of your mouth, you have spoken those words over yourself, have let the devil take a hold of them and reinforced in to yourself verbally.

The last six months I have found myself really having to battle my thoughts and negative speaking again.  I haven't felt this way since I was a junior in college (we're talking quite a few years here right now)!  I've struggled with my confidence, value and self-worth.  It's one thing to "know" it, and it's another to actually "feel'.  I know I've had A LOT of life change in the last year and some big challenges at home, work and relationally.  I also think satan knows how to kick you when you're down. 

Before I moved out to Iowa, my close friend April and I decided to get tattoo's together.  Both look different, but each one had the same meaning.  We had the word BELOVED inked on our backs.  Every morning I wake up and feel like I don't matter, I see this word "beloved" written on me reminding me that I do.  It's my smile when I don't feel like smiling.  I know that one little word will take over and I'll actually start feeling it, believing it and being it every morning when i wake up.